Author:
Dear Editor,
I recently noticed a smell in my room which offended me quite dearly. The smell almost caused me to asphyxiate while checking facebook. So, after a quick stop at the hardware store, I took an axe to the floor to discover the source of my misery. A dead platypus. Suddenly, my disgust turned to spicy anger. Does Oxy murder platypuses, a protected species from another continent, and hide them in students’ rooms just to fuck with us? As the prices of dorm rooms continue to increase, I must pose this question to the general community in hopes that we can solve this conundrum. P.S. contact PETA if you find this to be true or are bored and seeking cheap entertainment.
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