Since coming back from my study abroad semester in Rome, Italy, I have spent the last few months dwelling on the experience I had and the memories I made. It was my first time being in Italy and first time away from home.
During the three and a half months I was there, I walked daily past historical monuments like St. Peter’s Basilica and Castel Sant’Angelo on my way to class. I had the opportunity to intern at the Colosseum, experimenting with something I had always wanted to learn more about — archeology. I learned a good amount of Italian, made new friends and traveled to Malta, Austria and several cities in Italy, including Tivoli, Siena, Naples and Pompeii.
My Roman journey was a transformative experience, and the lessons I learned will guide me through the rest of my life.
1. It’s okay to do things alone
While abroad, there were places I wanted to go that others could not, so I had no other choice but to navigate the airport and fly alone. I flew to Messina, Sicily, to meet my cousin (who was also studying abroad) and later to Vienna to meet another cousin.
People are busy. They cannot hang out and frolic with you at all times, and there is nothing wrong with that. If there is some place you want to go, going alone is always an option.
I started going on long walks around the city, stopping at museums and exploring for as long as I wanted. I even went to cafes and restaurants, where I ate alone! I created my own itineraries, and I realized that I love spending time with myself.
I would not have been able to make half the memories I made if I had waited around for someone to join me.
2. Material objects are not that important
I was extremely unlucky to lose one of the most sentimental pieces of jewelry I owned while I was in Rome — a gold chain with two charms I had gotten for my baptism 17 years ago. To make matters worse, I also lost one of my favorite earrings.
One day, I complained about this to one of the friends I made, saying that I should never have brought them with me. Instead of agreeing with me, she said, “It’s okay. That just means the city is trying to hold on to you.” It was a very cute and unexpected response, and after that day, I stopped thinking about the necklace and the earring. All I know is that my necklace is somewhere in Rome right now, either lost in the corner of a street, or perhaps around someone else’s neck.
I realized that only a small fraction of my personal belongings were with me in Italy — most of them were back in LA. Yet I was living just fine. In fact, I was thriving.
3. You can find pieces of home in other countries
One of the reasons I loved my Roman experience so much was because many things reminded me of Iran, where I was born and raised. During the first ride from the airport to our dorms, the freeways and signs looked very familiar. Even the car brands were identical to those in Iran.
One day, as I was exiting my friend’s building, I realized that the gate lock was the exact same one as my grandparents’ gate in Iran. A mere lock made me emotional.
Another time, while I was grocery shopping, I found and bought my favorite childhood cereal: Kellogg’s Coco Pops Chocos. Since moving to the U.S., I have never seen that cereal on the shelves. The first bite immediately took me back to my childhood in Iran. I never realized how nostalgic food could be.
Italy also made me feel like I was visiting Armenia once again, my ethnic homeland. Italy had a lot of pilgrimage sites for Armenians, including the Armenian monastery-island of San Lazzaro in Venice, a relic of Armenia’s patron saint in Naples and numerous Armenian churches.
Finally, I discovered that Rome had chatty green parrots of its own, reminding me of the ones I hear in LA.
They were little details, but they added up. Even though I have no ethnic or cultural connections to Italy, I was able to find the feeling of home while still being somewhere completely new.
4. It’s important to let go
One of my friends who studied abroad before me said that the first few months back would be very difficult. She was correct.
I spent almost four months living in a very walkable city, and everywhere I went, I could not escape the ancient buildings and monuments that surrounded me. I was away from most of my responsibilities at Occidental, having fun with friends and basically vacationing for months straight — of course I would miss it.
While I won’t be able to bike along the Tiber River anymore, the LA River is right here to be explored. Yes, Herculaneum and Pompeii are difficult to reach, but the Getty Villa is an exact replica of the Villa of the Papyri. Not only that, but LA has many landmarks and a lot of culture of its own waiting for me to appreciate.
5. People love and appreciate you
Finally, studying abroad made me realize how loved I am by my family and friends. Before leaving for the semester, I had a memorable dinner and evening with my friends. The next day, my family members came to visit, bearing gifts and advice. My mom busied herself with making all my favorite dishes the week before I left. My boyfriend saved up money to come and visit me while I was in Rome, bringing my favorite pastries from back home. When I was about to leave, the new friends I had made wrote me the sweetest messages in my diary.
Even the small, kind interactions I had with strangers in Italy attest to this realization.
Now that I’m back, I try to remember all these lessons when I’m feeling worried or anxious, and rather than feeling sad that I am no longer abroad, I revel in how much I grew from this experience.
Contact Francine Ghazarian at ghazarian@oxy.edu
