Famous authors comment on graduating from college

Judy Blume:

“Are you there God? It’s me, a graduating senior. I just told my parents I want to get an MFA in poetry. Please help me grow God. You know where.”

 

Edgar Allen Poe:

“Once upon a commencement dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary …” ’Tis some distant aunt,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door — Who only gave me a gift card and nothing more.”

 

J.K. Rowling:

“But you know, employment can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to major in STEM.”

 

Jaques Derrida:

“In order to function, that is, to be readable, a signature must have a repeatable, iterable, imitable form; my poststructuralism justifies reusing the same cover letter over and over.”

 

Walt Whitman:

“O Me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring; Of the empty and useless years of undergrad — The question, what good was my Art History minor, O me, O life?

 

William Faulkner:

“Some days in late May at college are like this, the air thin and eager like this, with something in it sad and nostalgic and familiar…”

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Genevieve Babcock
Genevieve Babcock
Genevieve Babcock is originally from Chicago, IL. She is the Humor section editor and also the Humor section’s biggest contributor. She hopes to one day be in print.

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