We’ve all been there. You just forgot! Simply forgot. Somehow, Valentine’s Day completely slipped your mind, and you’ve only just remembered it today, an entire week and one day too late. Your significant other has been impatiently tapping their foot for days. Fear not. Here, compiled for your convenience, are four effective displays of affection to make it all up to your special someone and resuscitate your romance.
Option 1: The Mixtape
Middle-schooler-tested, high-schooler-approved. This thoughtful project will convey: “I may have forgotten about our special day, but my taste in music is cool.” Playlist options 2000s ballads, Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” twelve times in a row and Ed Sheeran’s entire discography. Medium is everything, and cassettes are both unique and endearing. That said, not every 20-something today will have a cassette player, so burn a CD as well. On top of that, most laptops do not have CD drives anymore, so you should really just give them a thumb drive.
Option 2: The Gaslight
If you’re feeling entirely unrepentant, another good approach is to utilize the concept of gaslighting, or slowly changing aspects of your target’s everyday life over time until they come to believe in something that never truly occurred. To convince your significant other that you haven’t missed Valentine’s Day yet, your first step will involve sneaking into their room and suddenly waking them up, small Valentine’s gifts in hand. At first, they’ll be adamant that the holiday occurred a week ago, but you must maintain that they had a wild dream, and in fact today is Valentine’s Day. Make sure everyone they have ever met is on board with your plan and will commit to the new reality if interrogated.
Option 3: The New Holiday
Sticking with the theme of treachery, another approach is to change the holiday altogether. Individuals left outside of the purview of Valentine’s Day have reclaimed the day with other meanings by means of rhyme, such as “Pal-entine’s Day” and “Gal-entine’s Day.” All you’ll need is another similar word, and you have a whole new day on your hands. Anything will do, if I may recommend, “Panama Canal-entine’s” Day! Just like that, the two of you have an exciting day ahead of you, full of early 20th century naval history, comparing the architectural feats of other similar projects of the time and even a visit to the Theodore Roosevelt presidential library! If that doesn’t make for some quality couple time, nothing will.
Option 4: The Exorbitant Gift
If nothing else, the exorbitant gift option is always worth a shot. Money can’t buy happiness, but there’s nothing wrong with showing that special someone that you care in an extravagant way. Common examples of expensive gifts are cars, spa retreats, trips abroad for an adventure together, but you may want to think even bigger. Something they’ll never see coming. The most impressive gesture to make to the love of your life is to buy them the Panama Canal. Consider the countless benefits: despite the high traffic in the modern Suez Canal, the Panama Canal continues to serve 144 of the world’s maritime trade routes. Ever since the Torrijos-Carter Treaty in 1977, the area remains an important shared interest for both the United States and Panama. And, Van Halen to this day holds an annual concert on a barge between the third and fourth locks, performing their 1984 hair-rock hit “Panama,” for which you both will receive free admission every year.
