Why is it so hot the first week of November? I’m just trying to walk back to my building and it feels like the Sun god Ra has fixed his fiery gaze upon campus. What did I even get out of that advising session? An envelope with six numbers in it, I guess. But for the most part, it was a lot of “No’s” and “That’s not going to be counted as a 200-level.”
Is there any way people could not skateboard directly over my feet? I’d really prefer to not have to dart my way through the skateboard and dog-ridden quad right now while the sun simultaneously goes full-on Oedipus to my eyeballs.
Focus, Sam. Get out of this sun and get into your room and figure out what you’re paying a cool couple thousand for next semester so that you can spend even more hours trying to apply Foucault to architecture. You are grounded, confined to your room until you find courses that fulfill appropriate requirements, or figure out how to actually make that yoga class count as your Fine Art, whichever comes first.
I probably slammed that book down on my desk harder than necessary, but it’s four o’clock in the afternoon, my roommate can get up from that nap and go take a turn facing the wrath of the Sun god out there. If anyone deserves a nap it’s me. Maybe my class schedule will come to me in a dream. Like a vision.
Alright, you know what to do. Open the laptop. Launch Chrome. Compulsively refresh Facebook. Mutely despair over the utter lack of notifications. Close the tab, open a new one. Press the “C” key, hover your index finger over the “Enter” key. Deep breath. Press “Enter” and load counts.oxy.edu.
How could there possibly be seven different DWA classes with the word “International” in their titles? Individual beads of sweat form on my forehead. Who made it so boiling hot in here? How long has my leg been bouncing up and down so frantically? Have I always had this nervous tick? I can’t seem to shake the sense that every individual letter on this page is blurring into one horrific visage.
Judging by the red indentation on my forehead and my dead laptop, I think I blacked. That’s a first for 4:30 p.m. on a Thursday. I suppose that Course Counts will do that to you. I will take literally any class next semester, I just need to escape this living hell of abbreviations and reference numbers. Fuck it, I’m signing up for intro-level Geology, another semester of Spanish and a class just straight up titled “Foucault.”
Epilogue:
All three classes are scheduled for 10:40-11:35 a.m. MWF. My.oxy.edu is unresponsive and I’ve missed my registration time window.
Very smart, very funny!